100 Days of Mediation - What I Learned

Back in May, I achieved a milestone of 100 consecutive days of meditation. I didn’t start off trying to complete a challenge, but after incorporating it into my morning routine I found myself becoming more comfortable with the practice. 

The Journey

At first, I primarily used guided meditations for about 7-10 minutes each day. In those first few weeks, I discovered teachers and techniques I most resonated with. After a month, I started migrating towards self-guided mediations. Using what I learned in the guided sessions, I was able to guide myself by either focusing on the breath, doing a body scan, meditating on a question, or repeating affirmations.

I can’t lie, practicing meditation can be difficult at times. Even today I can still feel myself wondering “Am I doing this right” or “Does this even work?” I have “good” days, “bad” days, and days I don’t feel like trying. But those are the days I need to meditate most. I need that stillness to calm the mind, even if it’s just for one minute.

What I Learned

After reflecting on my 100 days here are the top 3 things I learned:

  1. To give myself more grace - Like most people when I first started meditating I felt like I wasn’t good at it. So many thoughts would flood my brain making it hard to find a moment of peace. As I continued on this journey, a common theme I heard teachers reiterate is that its okay if thoughts randomly pop up. We are human and we are here so it’s completely natural. The only thing we need to do is notice them and let them go. This helped me to be kinder to myself and not attached to the thoughts as they come up.

  2. To listen - Learning to listen to what is going on in the mind and the body. Listening to what the friction is saying. Listening to what the discomfort is saying. Listening to the stillness and ease are saying. Really tuning in so I can understand why these feelings are coming up and what I need at that moment.

  3. To let go - The concept of letting go is still difficult for me. We all tend to attach to thoughts, affirmations, outcomes, people, etc. You don’t realize how attached you are to these things until you’re forced to sit still, observe the thoughts coming in, and somehow let them go. How do you do this? I’m still figuring it out, but on the days I can I feel less worried. I feel like I can trust in myself and trust in the Universe that I will find my way.

Let me know if you’ve been meditating or thinking about starting. I would love to hear what has worked for you and the challenges you have faced throughout your practice.

Small But Significant Shift

I dedicated the last few months of 2019 to deep introspection. I've always struggled with low self-esteem and have been incredibly insecure.

Once I paused to take notice of my thoughts and eventually seeking out the help of a therapist, I was able to notice the negative thought patterns that persist throughout my daily life. I was appalled by how mean I have been to myself (and sometimes still am). By going to therapy, I was able to verbalize my feelings in a non-judgemental space and gain tools to help me when these thoughts enter my mind.

I have noticed a shift in myself. I've moved from a sad, negative headspace to a more lighter and happier version of myself. By no means am I always happy, never feeling insecure or down. I am now less controlled by my negative thoughts.

Are you aware of the thought patterns in your daily life? What has helped you with control your negative self talk? Let me know what has worked for you.